/ROLEPLAY/

STATUS: On hold
METHOD: Google docs / Skype
CONTACT: Skype or docs chat

/AP TRACKER/

/BASIC INFORMATION/

NAME: Shenan
NICKNAME: Shen
GENDER: Mare
AGE: 25
ORIENTATION: Pansexual, pls dont talk to her about romance LOL
VOICE: Ofra Haza, Prince of Egypt (Moses' mother)

HERD: Aodh 
RANK: Servile Slave to Octavia (hopefully ;o; )

THEME SONG: Snakeships - Forever ft. Kaleem Taylor
Lana Del Rey - Once Upon a Dream
Annapantsu/SU - It's Over Isn't It?
Evanescence - Good Enough
Ed Sheeran - Give Me Love
Utada Hikaru - Passionn

/APPEARANCE/

HEIGHT: 15.3 hh
BREED: Mother was a Baskhir Curly/ Kentucky Mountain/Marwari cross/type, and father was a Jutland/Paint cross/type
COLOR:  (Chocolate or Silver) Bay Dun Sabino

ACCESSORIES: None/Whatever Octavia allows her to wear during the day/to go out. Requires a  shawl on hot days as face and ears easily sunburn.
SCARS/INJURIES: Some on her belly, near her udders, explained below. One on her forehead.

LOOKS: Shenan is of average height, but of slender build. She is a very pretty noodle ok. White splashes across her otherwise dark coat, with an under dappling of a soft gold along her belly. I'm not very descriptive ok. She always looks curious/happy/intrigued, and if she doesn't, then something is seriously wrong with her. Her mane is kept rubbed or shaven almost even with her neck. Her tail has the potential to grow very long very fast, but she keeps it short for maneuverability.

/SOCIAL/

Her best, closest, and dearest friend. The only remaining bond from a childhood long since forced to be abandoned. Pines for and misses every day.

A whirlwind of a romance. One she'll never forget, and never forgive herself for both having and letting go. Feels he was her only chance at freedom and true love, but couldn't ask him to leave the life he was rebuilding behind to run away with her. Possibly the end of her heart. Still loves and cares for in some way she isn't sure how to deal with. Great pain and heartache.

Tentatively calls the mare a friend, but doesn't want to fool herself. Admires and adores greatly. Her owner, teacher, guidance. Safety. Suffers severe Stockholm with her. Views as her last vestige of a relationship. Fears and knows she would have nothing without her Mistress and will do anything to please her.

A friend, a confidant. Has not seen in many years, but adores no less. Someone she yearns for, and even tentatively would say she loves. Feels he knows her as well as Samba once did. A hole in her heart along side Samba's, her mother's, and her father's.

Once thought he was her friend, but after an abusive afternoon and a mistake of giving him her trust, knows his true colors now. Fears greatly, but will be around because she knows she has no other choice.

A stallion who tricked her into coming back to Aodh. Unknowing his vile intent of murdering her was waning the longer he herded her along. Realized too late he thought she was his illegitimate child and wanted the world to be rid of her. Fled him once in civilization. Loathes for separating her from Samba. Loathes for causing her mother's paranoia and part from society.

/PERSONALITY/

Bright
Shenan always tries to think and see of the bright side of things. She is positive to a fault, though doesn't let it discern how she views others. She is a calm, quaint sunbeam. Always a smile, always a kind word. A sweet thing that has some learned sass from Samba to protect herself with.

^Solemn and Broken
Has lost much of her luster due to the events taking place both in her meager private life and with her surroundings. Doesn't make eye contact with anyone anymore unless she fees the dire need to. Speaking is kept to a minimum, head down, will obedient. Knows her place and doesn't seem to care that her soul and presence has snuffed out like a candle in the breeze

Steadfast
Once gained the trust of, Shenan is a steadfast and loyal companion. Through thick and thin she will remain at her friend's side, and will put her life and limb on the line for. She is not normally overtly violent or aggressive, but this side of her tends to flare up in defense of others. She is also steadfast in her mentality and ideals, as well as judgements of others. She is not easily swayed, and has an iron will and spine.

^Wary
Is shy of new people still. While she is very trusting and supportive once gained the trust of, gaining her trust at all anymore is like talking to a brick wall. She is still somewhat friendly, often putting on a brave face for others, and smiling when she thinks she normally would have. Her mentality and ideals are still cemented in her mind, though now are covered in a haze that seems to be protecting her from the world, or trying to. Has become easy to sway. Is brave still, but if someone wants to use her, would rather let them than face conflict. Wary of people's intentions, but wiser for it, it seems.

Quiet
From the time she was small, Shenan never spoke much. At first her parents thought she was a late bloomer, but when she proved that she could indeed say whole; albeit short; sentences, they figured something else may be wrong. In actuality, Shen just prefers to watch and listen. She doesn't feel comfortable often taking part in group conversations vocally. She does not strive to be rude or come across as shy, but she's aware that it does happen. 

Strong
Although she doesnt look it, Shenan is very strong. Father as big and tough as he was, she inherited some of his emotional and physical muscle. Luckily for her as her mother proved to be a paranoid quivering mess. She has been through a lot, seen a lot, suffered a lot, but it seems to affect her little. Physically, she can haul weight, and support weight a horse twice her apparent muscle mass could. Shenan has the heart and drive of a working draft horse.

Gentle
Shenan; as previously stated; is not overtly aggressive or violent. She is almost always the picture of grace and gentility. It's not on purpose, and she doesn't try to be so harder than what comes naturally to her. She walks with an arch in her tail and neck, and a small prance in her step. She can even gait somewhat between a walk and a trot, and it makes for a very cute scene when she's excited and scooting around like that. Still has a partially gaited walk, but keeps her head down even if her tail can't control itself and raises up when she gets going. Still very gentle and graceful, would not hurt a fly, an floats like a butterfly. 

Curious
Though quiet, Shenan is naturally social and curious. She is not the type to just bustle up to someone and introduce herself, but she likes to think she's at least approachable to others, and will always greet with a small smile and bat of those pretty, long lashes.

^Disengaged
Has lost interest in things. A mindless drone that only perks up when she feels necessary, or when praised or spoken to by her Mistress. She has no interest in things anymore, and seems resigned to her fate at this point. Though there is still life under the surface of the shell she's let herself become, but she does her best to ignore it, thinking Octavia prefers her this way - paying every heed to her Mistress and doing things promptly and as told or asked, without any rebuttal or back talk she might have barely shown before. As stated above, makes little to no eye contact. Would rather duck off into the shadows than walk among the merchants and shops she used to frequent in her spare time after chores were finished. Now only leaves the Pearl when absolutely necessary. Never asks anything of Octavia anymore. 

Uncertain 
As pretty as she is, she has a hard time realizing it. Tends to down herself more than others, and sees herself as 'beneath' many. It doesn't take much for her to think someone isn't fond of her, at which point she usually clams up and keeps her head bowed politely until dismissed. Uncertain of her place in society; recognizes she's a slave, and accepts this, so is very confused when shown kindness or treated otherwise by those above her.

Forgiving
It takes a lot to get her to hate you, and she will often excuse physical abuse, mental abuse, emotional abuse, or outright rudeness as her own fault, or an accident. She is trustworthy in this way; even when she is thoroughly broken and in tears, a secret is kept tight within her. Never blames anyone for insults given to her either, only calmly accepts them. 

Selfless
If someone is close enough to her, she will give up life and limb for them. Will do anything to make them happy. Even to strangers, will try to please anyone on some level. She enjoys making others happy, even at the expense of her own happiness. 

Chronic Depressive
While usually she's pretty complacent, the mare will sometimes get hit with chronic depression. She does her best not to show it, but only ends up hurting herself even more. She has survivor's guilt, knowing she's the only one left of her family, and knowing she chased her only sibling; even if not by blood; away. It hits her in waves, and sinks her into a quite pit that she tries her best to crawl out of. She will not willingly show this, though it comes through in her mannerisms in menial ways. Though her placid nature has escalated, she still hides the more obvious signs of her deep rooted depression rather well. Cries often in the corner she's designated as her own. Striken now with insomnia, she's lucky her face doesn't show the exhaustion her body refuses to feel.

Frightened
Not of traditional things. Boogeymen and monsters in the closet would probably be greeted with a 'Oh hello! Do you want some tea?'. She's frightened somewhat of stallions. Of being yelled at and beaten. Of being left behind or forgotten. Of losing Octavia and anyone else she grows attached to. Pertaining to her last trait, thoughts of this happening, and memories of what's already happened often sends her into a spiral of depression.

Defect
While this isn't a personality trait, per-say, she views herself as defective, though is subtle about it. She won't let on just why she feels this way, or what causes it, because she isn't sure herself.  Whether it because of her ears, or how she sees herself, it is unclear what causes it, and she isn't willing to explore the reason(s) at all, fearing it might send her further into a depression than the ones she already suffers.

Hopeless Heart
Shenan doesn't know what romance is, or how to go about it. She's fallen in love a grand total of once in her life, and even with Salem she isn't sure if it's romantic or not. She has the capacity to love pretty much anyone, though that also leaves her open for a lot of heartbreak. Even if not in a romantic sense, when she loves someone, she loves someone as part of a family she so desperately wants and needs again, so losing such a person would leave her pretty rattled. While she has a big heart, it is a sore one, and she is often tentative about forming new bonds, calling anyone friend, or opening her heart up in general. 

/HISTORY/

Foalhood
Born to two, lower class, hard working horses, Shenan's life wasn't luxurious, but it was easy, and good. For the first two years of her life, she was surrounded by two loving parents, and a few friends. On her second birthday though, her father didn't come home as he'd promised, baring the gift he'd set out to get. A search party was sent out, and her father was found collapsed on the street in some alley. There was no signs of assault, and after some basic examination, it was assumed he'd just... dropped dead. A long life of stress and heavy work took its toll on the great stallion, and even if he hadn't been particularly stressed that day, on his daughter's birthday, fate had decided to play a cruel hand. Her birthday for every year after was never celebrated, though her mother tried. It was some time after this, Shenan pushed away all her friends. Not that they protested. Most of them hadn't even given their condolences.

It was when Shena was playing by herself, with a stick, of all things, that she met Samba. A filly who wouldn't leave her alone. And who, in time, caused her to open up. Became her best, and only friend, and the only other horse besides her mother. The remainder of her foalhood wasn't so bad, then. Not with Samba. Not with a friend. Inseparably close, it was no surprise to her that when mom started acting weird, and a strange stallion began coming around, Sam stuck by her, and even left with her when mom decided to uproot the family one night and go. Just go. Anywhere but here, her mom'd mumbled, barely. Shenan wasn't aware of having a stalker, or the danger that caused them to leave.

As she grew, Samba grew with her, and the pair became inseparable. One particular day the two were rough housing, and Shen's ear was grabbed. Screamed and sent herself careening back over a small ledge, into a dry, rocky riverbed. Samba's panic was justified when her friend's skull split open and blood began to leak everywhere. Shenan slipped into some kind of coma, and due to lack of resources, began to whither. This stunted a few milestones and growing points, causing her to be smaller than both her parents later on in life. From this she gained a scar, and partial amnesia. She may wander occasionally from time to time, and not know where she's come from, who she is, or where she was going. Due to the placement of her wound, her face had to be bound so the bones could fuse back together. Whether this was her mom's doing, or a  passing medicinal horse's, Shenan never found out. The wraps were tight, and hurt. She had no pain medication, and it only kept her in her coma for that much longer. When she woke, the lights hurt her eyes, and still do to this day, and she became quite adept at moving as a blind horse would. Can see well, but sunny days and bright lights cause eye and head pains, as well as tearing.

TEENHOOD
Teenhood was reached with none of the milestones of a normal horse. It came and went with only one major event; the death of her mother. Scars on her belly that are covered from a fine layer of fur were gained when defending the rotting carcass of mother dearest from a badger. Years spent in solitude with a slowly withdrawing mother and a strengthening bond with her sister took its toll on the young mare when it came to socialization. Her only other friends were birds, which she would sing with in the occasional moment when they'd land near her to eat and scratch around. 

Shenan shied away from any other horses, obsessively returning to her mother's bones whenever possible, for however long possible. It took a while for the smell to stop, but it didn't matter to her. She soon noticed though, that Samba was disappearing more often, coming back with strange smells and displeasing explanations. But Shenan held her tongue. Held her tongue until one night she blew, and the two got into such a screaming match that it attracted Shenan's nearly life-long stalker. But it was only when Samba ran off and left Shenan in a crying puddle that the blue-roan did appear. A massive stallion who looked nothing like the filly. In his eyes though, she was his, she was his unwanted child. 

He tricked her with comforting words, saying they'd lied to her, that her father was still alive, that he was waiting for her in Aodh. And so distraught was she, that Shenan blindly followed him. Until she realized that it wasn't all good intentions. Leading her turned to forcibly hurting her, until they reached the edges of Aodh, and a passing of ownership took place. Was taken somewhere dark and unknown.

ADULTHOOD
Shenan, at the age of what they assumed was sixteen, was brought to a group of slave traders who began her 'training' They were cruel, and rude, whacking and whipping into her unnatural gaits for her legs, cropping her main and tail short by at first ripping out her hair before she learned to keep it rubbed short on her own. Yet, while they were so cruel, the singular handler who took an obsessive interest in her torment bought her, and she entered a whole new world of pain. With each wrong move he'd re-open one of the scars, tear a chunk out of her mane or forelock, or even tail, or pour hot water on her face to burn her sensitive skin. He'd strap her into stiff, harsh leather harnesses, ornate bridles digging bits into her mouth that probably normally wouldn't have hurt much at all if she were allowed to carry herself in a normal manner.

This life wasn't as bad as it could have been, she told herself. And her saving grace came in the form of a spotted stallion named Salem. He made things alright, even if they weren't. He kept her safe and warm, and reassured her. He was unruly at first, and she worried for him, but seeing as how their handler had a disposition towards males, he took it a lot easier on Salem than Shenan. Despite any trouble she might get in for doing so, she shared her bed with him often, insisting he lay on her meager scraps of bedding as opposed to the floor. Shen found the stallion nestled nicely in her heart, and was absolutely devastated with his sudden sale. Their handler barely let them say goodbye, and Shenan was broken for a long while.

The strength and virility he lent her just by being there was gone, and she bowed and succumbed to her handler's cruel methods. And he relished in it.

On no day in particular, as she was shown to a group of potential buyers for her and her comrades, Shenan was spotted by a certain spotted mare. Was approached by said mare, and the pair conversed quietly. Mostly Shenan being asked and answering questions, running through the motions, with no hope  lifting towards this mare being the one to save her. Was taken by the mistress, and eyed her with a childlike curiosity until her handler came and forced her through the process of a show for her potentials that day. Was pushed through things that hurt her legs, almost made her stumble, but did her performance dutifully and without flaw, like always. Held no hope for being taken, still. Until, instead of going back to where her and and any others unfortunate enough to be under her handler's 'care' were kept, she was lead to the spotted mare's side. Fancy bridles and necklaces removed, and told this was her 'Mistress.' Eyed the mare in adoring wonder, and eagerly followed her away from that place, never looking back. 

Life was different with Octavia. She was treated with kindness and affection. Teasings stopped, and she slowly crawled out of the reserved shell she'd been forced into. Was at first given only menial tasks by the Mistress, taking care to do everything to the exact T of her Mistress' words. Grew to love the spotted mare and her nature, and viewed her as a mother and a mentor. Was glad to be the only one to serve her Mistress at the time, and took everything she was given in stride. Has been with her Mistress for four years, doing as she wished, bending over backwards to make her mistress happy without any concern for herself.

/NOTES/

• Shenan had begun learning to read, but upon losing her relationship stopped trying to learn. Sees little to no point.

• Has stopped trimming her hair and now has a glorious golden mane because she can't be bothered to cut it anymore.

• Her ears are a genetic abnormality. There is no mule in her, they're just very large and filled with curly hair. Also v sensitive to the sun, and touch. Feels extreme pain in them more than anywhere else.

• Shenan wasn't actually named Shenan. They thought for sure she was going to be a colt, so her first name was actually Hyrn. Shenan was a product of muddled tired parents and an old family name that just seemed to work.

• She looks like a poodle in colder months.

• Please don't worry about getting her design 100% I probably won't ever get it to look exactly the same again sob ;;

• She likes to sing, and has quite the voice for it. Though it's unclear where her accent really comes from. Mother had a similar one, but not exactly the same, or as strong.

Art © Me
Application © and
Bio thing stollen from

Featuring 's Octavia and 's Samba, Iian and Mallen vuv